Patrick Ross

At Track II Chicago, 1995

Patrick Ross
01 Feb 1954 - 01 Apr 2024

Clubs & Associations

Times Squares

Quick Facts

Partner of Geo Jedlicka

Media Feature

Reasons to Love New York

Because Dancing Led Patrick to Geo

Geo Jedlicka and Patrick Ross met on Labor Day weekend in 1990 at the Ice Palace in Cherry Grove. There was an early-evening hoedown hosted by the Times Squares, a gay and lesbian square-dancing troupe. Patrick was attending as an angel — square-dancing lingo for a volunteer who teaches the newbies all the right steps — and Geo was new. Patrick, with his unplaceable accent, “like a slight twang,” and “electric-blue eyes and dark hair,” offered to give Geo a lesson. Geo especially liked his facial hair: “I’ve always been attracted to a mustache.” Their first dance together was the Texas two-step.

Both were in serious relationships with other men. But two years later, single again, Geo remembered Patrick’s moves back on Fire Island, and he called him up to invite him to a dance in New Jersey. Patrick said “yes.” “Shortly after, he said he was going to leave his partner for me,” says Geo, now 57.

Patrick was from Cheyenne, Wyoming, and had moved to New York after a stint in the Peace Corps teaching English in Saudi Arabia, Japan, and South Korea. Geo was a Queens native living in Maspeth.

Patrick was an introvert; when they met their friends at a piano bar, Geo drank beer and sang show tunes while Patrick silently sipped tea in the corner. When they traveled to square-dancing conventions around the country, Patrick drove and Geo read aloud from Harry Potter, Pride and Prejudice, and Stephen King. “I packed his clothes for trips,” Geo says. “He didn’t have the gay gene that helps in that sense.” (Geo also cut their hair — very similar but slightly different graying flattops — at home.) “I was more of the planner. If somebody asked him about something, he’d say, ‘Check with Geo.’ I got him to do many things he might not have.”

Like a lot of couples, they had songs they felt belonged to them: “Outbound Plane,” by Suzy Bogguss; “Gandhi/Buddha,” by the lesbian folk singer Cheryl Wheeler; and “Forever and for Always,” by Shania Twain. “If we heard the first few notes of those songs at the Ranch” — that would be midtown’s country-western dance venue Big Apple Ranch — “and someone came up to me, asking, ‘Do you want to dance?,’ I’d say, ‘Sorry, this is my dance with Patrick.’ ”

They became serious hobbyists and jokingly identified as “bi-dansual,” meaning in the rather traditionally gendered world of cowboy hats and crinoline skirts, they would take turns dancing the boy part and the girl part. “When you’re there, your mind can’t go to anything else. You’re in the moment, working as a team,” Geo says. “Having this common activity that we both enjoyed is an awesome glue for a relationship.”

In 2002, the couple moved to a townhouse in Jersey City, which they renovated themselves, reading up on how to install crown molding. In 2007, the year it became legal in New Jersey, they joined in a civil union at the courthouse down the street. Through the decades, they parented eight cats together — Henry, Echo, Trex, Otter, Anubis, Jekyll, Hyde, and Phoebe — plus a Siberian husky, Noon Khe. “Patrick was coming out of his shell more,” says Geo. “I think the dog changed him. It gave him a more carefree, happier demeanor.”

With age, Geo says, they grew to share more in common. A love for Broadway, for one; Patrick was partial to Evita. Every year, they took a big trip, most recently to Machu Picchu. They were never, Geo says, big partyers, but when visiting other cities, they would usually seek out the local leather bar. They were nudists and enjoyed trips to Gunnison Beach.

When Stud Country — a Gen-Z-forward queer line-dancing party — started up in New York after the pandemic, Geo and Patrick decided to give it a whirl. They enjoyed watching the kids adopt their longtime hobby, if not what they considered the rather elementary moves. “We loved the energy. Why aren’t we getting crowds like this? Where are these people coming from? Patrick was probably the oldest one there,” Geo says. They became regulars at Stud Country’s parties, though the music was more likely to be Troye Sivan or Kesha than Twain.

This year, Patrick, 70, was going to retire for good from his job as a banker. They also figured they might finally get married. They talked, half-jokingly, about leaving the country if Donald Trump won again. Their two requirements for a new home base: somewhere with gay people and square-dancing. In March, after a turn on the dance floor at one of Stud Country’s parties, Patrick collapsed. He died three days later.

Patrick’s memorial was held in August at P.S. 3 on Hudson Street, the public school by their old apartment where the Times Squares often held dances back in the day. Geo gave a eulogy: “A friend of Dorothy but didn’t need any of Oz’s gifts. He already possessed a beautiful brain, a pure heart, and courage.” Also, he tells me later, “he still, even as an older gentleman, had his looks.”

There was a memorial square dance at the service. Geo danced alone with “a phantom Patrick,” he says. After 32 years together, there’s maybe a little comfort knowing his lover died doing what they both loved. “We met on the dance floor,” Geo says. “We parted on the dance floor.”

— Brock Colyar^[1]

Medallion Dancer

2000 | 10 Year Medallion at Crack The Crab
2010 | 20 Year Medallion at Chi-Town Shakedown
2016 | 25 Year Medallion at Maple Leafs Regroup
2023 | 30 Year Medallion at Follow Your Northern Neighbour

Remembrances

I lost my love this week to a surprise heart attack.

I may not be able to respond immediately.

I will write more soon.
— Geo Jedlicka, 31 Mar 2024

I am sad to say that we've lost another of our dancers this past week. Patrick Ross (partner of Geo Jedlicka) suffered a major heart attack on Tuesday March 26 when they were out line dancing in Brooklyn. Patrick participated in square dancing at all levels with enthusiasm and much love for his friends. He was in the Brooklyn Hospital for several days before going into organ failure. He never regained consciousness. RIP, Patrick. You will be terribly missed.
— Ett McAtee

This is quite a shock … Hard to believe something like this could happen to him at age 70. I picture him as too fit to have health issues. I’ve enjoyed dancing with him since NACC, Virginia Beach, 1993. He and Geo were always in the stands for our IAGSDC group photo. I will miss his smile, his lively spirit and his kind-hearted ways.

I especially remember the good time we had in the C3A hall at the American A&C weekend in Toledo, 1993.
— Karl Jaeckel

Oh, Karl, this is so tragic and sad! Patrick was such a vital, enthusiastic and caring person. He always had a smile. I'll especially remember his kindness in dancing a tip, helping me through some tough Geo C3A at the A&C weekend in Denver (2012). Was surprised he remembered me so well. He and Geo were so perfect together; he must be devastated. My heart is full for Geo's loss.

Thank you for letting me know.
— Carol Simpson

Very sorry for your loss Geo. May your memories of good times together be a blessing to you.
— David Resnick

I’m so sorry for your loss Geo. Big hugs!
— Thom Dang

Not Patrick All our love to you, Geo. Hugs to you and to Noon Khe!
— Tage Lindfors

Geo, i am so sorry for your loss. How utterly shocking. May his memory be a blessing for you.
— Ginda Fisher

I’m so sorry Geo, my heart goes out to you!
— John Zemko

Words cannot express how sad I am for you. He was a lovely man. Sending hugs.
— Danny Lee

I am so sorry for your loss! Sending hugs of comfort.
— Brad Hindahl

So sorry Geo. My thoughts are with you.
— Todd Fellegy

So sorry for your and our loss
— Fred Harke

Geo, I am so sorry to read this. There are no good words right now, but please know we all are holding you close in our hearts. Wishing you peace, my friend.
— Rusty Tooley

OMG. sending love
— Georgian Spata

That is so crushing Geo. I am so sorry to hear. Please hug NoonKhe for me. Hugs to you.
— Seth Feinberg

I'm devastated by this news. I know you must have been there when it happened. Huge hugs to you through this.
— Bill Eyler

So very sorry. Very very sorry.
— Bob Young

I am sorry for your loss.
— Osamu Miyabe

Oh Geo, I am so sorry! My deepest love and condolences to you. Sending love and prayers...we go back to 1989.
— Michael Coan

So sorry for you. My deepest condolences.
— John Mckinstry

Geo… our deepest condolences to you and everyone in your family.
— John Bauder

Words can't express how sorry I am for your loss, Geo. You are in my thoughts.
— Michael Levy

So sorry to hear this Geo. I'm at a loss for words. You two are a very special couple. Hold on to all of your wonderful memories of the good times. Sending lots of hugs.
– Pam Clasper

So very sorry for your loss Geo, I know how truly special Patrick was in your life. I cannot imagine what you are going through. My thoughts are with you.
— Chris Phillips

My heart goes out to you. I only wish these condolences will help some way to ease the hurt.
— Terri Sherrer

I am so very sorry, Geo. Words cannot express…
— Mary Hutchinson

So very unexpected. Bill and I will miss your Patrick. He was a good and gentle man and a wonderful compliment to your personality. Big hugs from both us as you work through all the difficult emotions and decisions that come with a loss like this.
— Jim Francis

All my love to you. Lean on friends and family. You and Patrick are in my heart.
— Corey Jaseph

Geo. I am so very sorry. Prayers to you. May he rest in peace. I have such fond memories of spending time with both of you.
— Sandie Bryant

We are stunned and incredulous. Enormous condolences to you and the families.

Most of all, our hearts go out to you.
— Bill Graefe

I was shocked to hear the news, Geo. My deepest condolences.
— Fred Loehr

Oh my gosh what a shock. You have our most sincere condolences Geo. Depend on your friends and family, and don’t be shy to ask for anything.
— Bruce Harrigan

Oh, Geo. Our hearts and sympathies go out to you. So sorry for your loss.
— Andy Shore

Crap! I'm numb. Unbelievable. I am so sorry and heart broken for you.
— Michael Krupar

Such sad, sad news. Hugs to you but can never heal this loss.
— Rahn Anderson

I'm so sorry to hear this Geo - my condolences to you and everyone in your families.
— Drew Post

He was so terrific. Knowing him since the early '90s this is very difficult to hear. Obviously more difficult for you to experience. This is a tough loss. Take time to grieve. I love you.
— BJ Dyer

We are shocked and saddened to hear this news. We have many happy memories of times with you and Patrick. Our deepest condolences.
— Barry Clasper

Oh my God! Thanks for letting us know, Ett! Do you have a mailing address for Geo? What a horrible month this has been for the C4 community.
— JW Paulson

So sorry, Geo. Holding you in my thoughts and prayers.
— Mike Rutkowski

Sending love and light to Geo and family at this dark time.
— John Faulds

Oh no!! I can’t believe it! Geo, you are in my thoughts tonight.
— Chip Prince

This is such sad news. Patrick was always very helpful to me, and LOTS of fun to be in a square with. RIP. Geo - I'm so sorry for your loss.
— Michael Kellogg

Oh no, that is so sad. My heart goes out to Geo.
— Kathy Zottmann

Over the weekend we learned that Patrick Ross had passed away after a heart attack. One of the most fun square dances I ever danced was with Patrick and his husband, Geo Jedlicka. Patrick was kind and patient and he had a great sense of humor. The loss is profound and of course, our hearts mourn with Geo.
— Paul Perrotta