Honky Tonk Queen: The 3rd Decade

Honky Tonk Queen: The 3rd Decade
By Wardson Lambert

Larger than Life! Beautiful to the Beholder! Originally Funny and Entertaining! All three of these descriptions can be said about all of our Honky Tonk Queens.

If this is your first convention or your 29th, The Honky Tonk Queen Pageant is a vital part of the IAGSDC. It was started as a fun idea in 1983, by Virginia Slim, and has grown to be one of the top attended events of our annual convention. Let me get started with the good stuff. Here are HTQ's from the 3rd decade.

2001: Introducing Mary Gold & the Big Boned Girls. Mary Gold sang live, the Big Boned Girls fell down, and they won.

2002: Howard Richmond. If you want to know more on Howard Richmond, go to www.iagsdc.org and find the information under the Honky Tonk Queen index.

2003 : Ah, Gypsum Rock Lee. The theme was burlesque and all I remember was that she won by correctly placing her big bone in the right place. It is all about placement.

2004: Lily White and her Spermettes. Lily, and her entourage came by a freight liner, as their costumes were too large to travel by Greyhound.

2005: The Fabulous Cow Patty, real class. Twirling a lasso while dressed in a hand sewn camouflage print square dance dress.

2006: Big hair, costume change, lights, equals Denver's best kept secret, Wilma Titzgro.

2007: Roller skating, pasties and a Tammy Wynette song. It was so Wicked that Mustang Mary won.

The 25th convention 2008, a great tribute video to the past Honky Tonk Queens & friends, prepared by the ever famous Tami Wynotte. Then, Iona Doublewide enters on the stage on a bed carried by shirtless men. To top that off they all perform with a male blow up doll.

2009: Oy Vey! Then came Mrs. Manischewitz, with the song, "Let's get Soaking Wet". She wins with a fabulous bathing suit borrowed from Dame Edna.

2010: Alas! The long awaited crowning of the most fabulous of all Honky Tonk Queens. She has entered the HTQ more than any other person. Yes it was a good show that year. Tami & Lois opened the show. I think they were the only real talent on stage. Then the announcement of the winner, your 2010 Honky Tonk Queen is Ima Cornholer. She arose from the audience to claim her glory.

2011: Atlanta, can we say hot, muggy, oh yeah and sweat. Host Ima, came in the largest hoop dress ever. She also came with the newly bedazzled crown. She opened the show with a tribute to the late HTQ Royal, Lois Carmen D'Nominator. Three contestants, one winner, Lesley Gore-Tex, so very clever to sing live. Her version of "It's My Pageant!" sung to the tune of "It's My Party". Well that is how I remember the last 11 Honky Tonk Queens.

Now what will happen this year is a mystery. For all we know you could be the next Honky Tonk Queen. I know you can plan on me being there to watch this most fun event. Hope you will too. All rumors about the Old Queens are true. Just step up and ask one of them.

Yellow Rocks

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