Doris Nixon

At Remake The Circle, 1993

Doris Priscilla O'Grady Englehardt Nixon
25 Nov 1915 - 05 Jan 2000

Clubs & Associations

In Their Own Words

Confessions of a Straight Gay Square Dancer by Doris Nixon

Before moving to New York City, I was an elementary school teacher in California. The year I retired, my son and daughter-in-law asked me to live with them in Manhattan. They needed someone to stay with their children and watch them during the day.

Square dancing had always taken up all of my spare time. I danced every evening of the week and on some Sunday afternoons. I mistakenly thought dancing did not exist in Manhattan. I'd looked everywhere until I read a flyer posted on my church bulletin board. I could barely believe what I had read. A social club in the church I attended announced they were having a square dance on Friday night. I could hardly wait for Friday night to arrive.

To my delight, they had hired a live caller. While the caller set up his equipment, I talked with him. I saw several records in his collection that were familiar to me. From this I gathered he was a caller attuned to the type of dancing I did best.

Once the caller began, a woman asked me to be her partner. Secretly I had hoped one of the men would ask me. The woman who asked me was a good dancer, but nothing beats dancing with a man. There are always so many women at most of the dances I attend.

As I looked around the room at the other squares, I discovered that men were dancing with men and women were dancing with women. I thought this was unusual, but it didn't yet register. I kept right on dancing, hoping one of the men would ask me.

When I asked Ron, the caller, about this, he said he was a teacher so it was natural for him to teach square dancing. He said most of the dancers were men. Then he invited me to come and dance with his club, called the Times Squares, and explained that the club was a lesbian and gay club.

At first I was taken aback. I had never suspected such a thing existed. When lesbians and gays dance, they disregard gender. The man's part is called the lead part and the women's part is called the follow part. Most of them can dance either. This saves a lot of confusion when acquiring a partner. I saw squares with all men and squares with all women dancing together. I also saw squares with about half and half, but none of them were dancing in the traditional positions. One square I danced in was composed of seven women and one man, and he was dancing in the follow position.

One time when I came back from vacation, after I had been dancing with the club for awhile, Dick, another dancer, called me and volunteered to pick me up and take me to a dance. I was happy about that as it is so much easier to have someone drive me to the dance than to go by subway. Dick said his lover, Gene, was going to nursing school and was too busy studying to go dancing. Dick was already a nurse and had inspired Gene. Dick and Gene had been together for twelve years and were prone to brag about it.

At one dance I was surprised to see Ken. He looked great. He was in remission from AIDS. Ken had sparked the creation of the Times Squares dance club. In the beginning, Ken traveled the city on his bike, posting flyers at the Center and in the bars and bookstores. Thirty-five people showed up for the first dance.

When the Times Squares Club first started they danced in the Times Square area of Manhattan, hence the name. Later they moved their dances to a public school on Hudson Avenue near Christopher Street, in the Village.^[1]

One Valentine's Day I found myself with a group of young men readying themselves to perform. The group had been practicing since Christmas. It was to be their premiere performance, a Valentine's Day party. Our group was to be the star attraction.

Long ago the men knew we needed an act for the party, but they could never agree on just what it should be. They settled on a dance to a recording, and they asked me if I would help them. It was a great honor for a straight female.

Every club dance night the men and I would go upstairs in the school to a large hallway and practice. A really imaginative session with the men resulted. Some of the men danced and some of them directed. The men changed lines and cues to the demands of everyone during the constant repetition. I behaved myself (which was hard among all those handsome young men) and did what I was told. In the end it turned out to be a pretty good performance. In fact, it was a show-stopper. Nothing else would have sufficed.

The performance was held at the Lesbian and Gay Community Center. The Center, as it was lovingly called, was an old New York City School that the gay community had renovated.

In addition to rehearsing for the performance, the men all had to scavenge for the costumes and props. My assignment was to get myself a black leather jacket. Carl, a dancer who lived near me, said he would loan me his. Mark, one of the best artists ever, painted a picture on a piece of cloth of a skull and crossbones crowned by a bat above, on which he printed "Bats from Hell". Below the skull and crossbones he printed "NYC CYCLE CLUB. " This picture was fastened to the back of the jacket. The appearance was so real that Carl, the owner of the jacket, almost fainted. Mark located a little black hat for me to wear. There were chains across the beak of the hat to match the chains draped over my shoulders and in my hands. I could have been one of the Hell's Angels for all anyone knew!

The club had rented a room at the Center, just off the dance hall, where the dancers were to change their clothes. The men had not worn their costumes to the hall, finding it a little too hard to wear dresses around town ... even in as liberal a city as New York.

The men's costumes were fantastic. They had wigs, most of them blond. They also had pantyhose, some of them very fancy like the ones you see in the Frederick's catalogue, and high-heeled shoes. A couple of them had on decollete dresses and Frederick's of Hollywood underwear, garter belts - the whole works. The men were all dressed like "Women of the Night," complementing my motorcycle gang member attire. I looked more like a Gray Panther than the biker I had tried to emulate.

The dance hall was decorated to the hilt. Mark and Paul had hung red and white, streamers from corner to corner and side to side in the hall. There were cupid's shooting arrows all over the place. In another room, off the rear of the dance hall, there were refreshments.

The cast danced in a circle. The first time I came around the circle, they all clapped. There were over one hundred men there. The second time came around, the men were all on their feet screaming. It was the one and only time in my life that I received a standing ovation.^[2]

At Christmas time, some of the men dressed in drag. One of the newer dancers, Mickey Pearl, was dressed up like Minnie Pearl. He looked just like her, except for the mustache. He had on the little hat with the price tag hanging down in front. His dress was the typical country ladies dress. The skirt was black and the blouse was white cotton with a round neck bordered with lace over ample bosoms. Over that was a red and white checkered apron with a bib front. The shoes were flats with ankle socks. Mickey Pearl was a typical picture of rural life at its best.

Bob, on the other hand, was dressed very exotically. He had to. He was the queen. He had on a blond wig, his trademark, and a gold lame' square dance dress, trimmed with tons of lace. The dress had lots of lace around the low cut neckline, with puffed sleeves and a tight fitting bodice under a tasteful bust line. His square dance crinoline was huge and stuck out in every direction. You couldn't get anywhere near him. He had on gold lace hose and lacy sissy pants. He just oozed glamour.

The Gays don't choose their partners as the straights do. At a straight dance, the girls sit around and wait for the men to come and ask them to dance. There are never enough men, so the extra girls do a lot of sitting. The Gays go one better. When everyone gets up to dance, they just partner up with whoever is standing.

Adrian and Ron, a couple getting married, were perfect together. If you could say it, theirs was a marriage made in heaven. They were totally devoted to each other. It was a joy to see. They only just met at the beginner's class the year prior, but to look at them you'd think they had been together for years.

When I first met them, Adrian had been crocheting a wedding dress for himself. They had decided by then that they would get married. In light of that, I told Adrian it would take him years to finish the dress. He had been crocheting it with small needles and using very fine thread. I could recognize that such fine work would take a long time, and near the time of the wedding, I teased him, “Why aren't you crocheting anymore? I thought you were getting on with it.". "I decided to buy a dress," he responded. "I could see I was never going to finish it in time."

As soon as Adrian had decided to play the woman's part, he bought himself a pair of red square dance shoes. Right after he would get to the dance he would change his shoes and dance in high heels. To me, heels were a pain in the neck, or a pain in the feet!

Ron told me that they had decided to get married in their church in the spring. He wanted to make sure that I would come. Finally, spring arrived and I went to Adrian and Ron's gay wedding. They had prepared for it properly at the church by mailing out invitations.

The church is "The Metropolitan Community Church of New York, a church of the Lesbian and Gay Community." They were in the process of cleaning it up and refurbishing it. You could see where they had finished and where they had not. Everyone sat on folding chairs.

During the ceremony, the couple exchanged rings and kissed and were declared married. After that they cleared away all the chairs, squared danced, drank punch and ate cake. It was a very nice wedding. Adrian wore a dress, but all the other participants wore trousers. It was all very tasteful. All went off very smoothly.

After the wedding, a group of us dancers went over to SAGE and rehearsed our convention exhibition dance before a live audience. SAGE is a senior group of lesbians and gays who get together once in a while. The SAGE members thought the performance was very good. It is to be performed at the New York Square Dance Convention. I was in love with New York and square dancing and would have done anything to help them.^[3]

Medallion Dancer

1998 | 10 Year Medallion at Weave The Rose

Obituary

Doris P Dixon
Memorial services will be held Saturday, Jan. 15, 2000, at 1 p.m. for Doris P. Nixon, 84, Creston, Calif. in the Chapel of the Dudley-Hoffman Mortuary with Dr. Michael Wallman of the First Presbyterian Church officiating. Cremation was requested with private inurnment to be at a later date.

Mrs. Nixon died Jan. 5, 2000, at Sierra Vista Hospital in San Luis Obispo.

She was born Nov. 25, 1915, in Oak Park, Ill, where she was raised. She attended Stephens College in Michigan and graduated from Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo with a degree in education in 1958. She lived in Santa Maria from 1958-1985 and taught elementary school for the Orcutt and Guadalupe School Districts retiring in 1982. She has been a resident of the Paso Robles-Creston area since 1985.

A member and past Pres. of AARP in Paso Robles. Member and past Pres. of the Bachelors and Bachelorettes Square Dance Club in Santa Maria. Rec'd an honorary 10-year medallion, Times Squares Square Dance Club, member of the AAUW (Amer. Association of University Women), member of the Kappa Kappa Gamma Central Calif. Chapter. She was honored many times by many organizations for her involvement within the community.

Hobbies included writing, reading, square dancing, animals and community involvements.

Survivors include her sons, Bruce W. Engelhardt, Shandon, Dean L. Engelhardt, New York, NY; daughter Doris P. Vickery, Creston; brother William E. O'Grady, Rancho Mirage; sisters, Ruth Ann O'Grady Earle, La Grande, Calif., Donna Jean O'Grady Nelson, Silver City, NM; 4 grandchildren, Kyden Armin Engelhardt, Oklahoma City, Barbara Elizabeth Engelhardt, New York City, Margaret Ann Engelhardt, New York City, Catherine C. Vickery, Creston.

Friends if they so desire can make memorials to the Lupus Society f America, 550 S. Eastern Ave. $190, Los Angeles, Calif., 90040 or to any favorite charity.

Services are under the direction of the Dudley-Hoffman Mortuary.^[4]

Recollections

A WOMAN NAMED DORIS

Several years before our first caller, Ron Masker, moved to San Francisco, he called at an introduction to square dancing at a social club at The Riverside Church.

One of the dancers approached Ron to inquire if there was a square dance club in Manhattan. He replied that there was a club called "Times Squares" and that he was their caller, but stated it was a gay club. We have never forgotten Doris' reply, when she said "I love happy people."

Doris had moved to New York from California after retiring from teaching school to be a nanny for her grandchildren. Square dancing was her passion, but she couldn't find any clubs in New York.

Lo and behold Doris showed up at one of our club nights and wowed us with her dancing and her wonderful personality. She soon won our hearts, and in the process learned about the world of gay and lesbian square dancing which she found more exciting than straight square dancing. Her remarks at times really floored us, but we laughed with her.

Doris started bringing cut-up celery and carrots every time she showed up, and was soon nicknamed the "carrot lady." For one of our "Fly-Ins" she showed up dressed as a carrot. The costume was made for her by Lindsay Davis.

I guess she caused havoc in the life of her son's family. She was forever getting phone calls, going out dancing with young men, and having a ball.

Doris decided to move back to California, the life of a nanny didn't suit her. She tried to start a gay and lesbian square dance group at the local college, and she also decided to write a book on her experience of dancing in the gay/lesbian world.

She thought she would submit excerpts of her book to different magazines in the meantime, so I asked her if we could also publish them. Dean and I thought we could do it in installments.^[5]