Donna Matrix

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A queen of a different gender - Honky Tonk Royalty Donna Matrix, 1994

Donna Matrix was the winner of the Honky Tonk Queen contest in 1994.
For personal appearances, please contact Dana Backiel


1994 Washington, DC
Out of the Secretarial Pool, and Out of the Swimming Pool, Too!

Moolena had gotten a little too close to a meat grinder and was served up on a platter for this contest. (You might say that instead of a tartan, she wore a tartare!) For the first – and only – time in HTQ history, the runner-up had to fulfill the duties of the dead Queen, and we elevated the lovely, but confused, Curli-Q to be Queen for one hour – not a bad reign for a girl nobody wanted! The Honky Tonk Queen contest was again held at a reasonable hour, and Lois entered yet again. This time, she lost to a rubber-encased lesbian who stole Lois’ idea of having peons (no, not pee on!!!) chant her name. Gotta luv a girl who steals from the best!

Donna Matrix had a great contingent, who proved to one and all that we truly were not worthy. While the contest was a few laughs, the bathing beauties (also known as the Honky Tonk Training Academy, or just Miss Jean Brodie’s School for Girls) were ejected from the pool by a hotel manager for scaring the children. Seriously! And in the midst of a Democratic administration!!! The embarrassment! The humiliation!! The humanity!!! THE BASTARD!!!!![1]



  1. 2001 IAGSDC Convention Program (Vancouver), p.39