Brenda Bess

Obituary photo

Brenda Carol Bess
13 Jan 1949 - 29 Apr 2024

Clubs & Associations

Quick Facts

partner of Linda Pettis

Obituary

Brenda Carol Bess
Phoenix - In Loving Memory of Brenda Bess. She was a beacon of kindness and faith, passed away in April 2024 after a valiant battle with ALS and frontal lobe dementia. Brenda's life was a testament to her unwavering belief in the goodness of people and the strength of her spirit. Her love for the Bible and her deep connection with God were the cornerstones of her existence.

For 25 years, Brenda shared a life of love and commitment with her wife, Linda Pettit. Together, they created a home filled with warmth and joy, along with their cherished Maltese dogs, Aspen and Alexis. Brenda's love for her pets knew no bounds, and their memory remains a source of comfort and love.

Brenda found solace in the simple pleasures of life, whether it was playing a game of solitaire, delving into the magical worlds of Merlin and Harry Potter, or sharing her heart with those around her. Her kindness touched the lives of many, leaving a legacy of positivity and love that will continue to resonate.

As we bid farewell to Brenda, we celebrate the beautiful angel she was and the love she brought into this world. The world indeed needs more individuals like her-those who spread love effortlessly and impact every life they touch positively. Brenda Bess will be immensely missed, but her spirit will live on in the hearts of those she touched.

We love you, Brenda. Your light will forever shine in our memories.^[1]

Remembrances

25 years ago I was visiting Red River, NM and my friend Robby came by to visit. He had to keep the visit short as he had a concert in Santa Fe. He sang with the New Mexico Gay Men’s Chorus. He asked me to come and watch him sing and I finally gave in and said yes and would spend the night in Santa Fe with him. The chorus was wonderful and I was surprised that there were women in the group of singers. Well, it was intermission and the singers were encouraged to mingle with the audience. Lo and behold this lady singer came and set beside me and said, “don’t I know you?” Me being the polite person said “ no ma’am, I am visiting from Dallas, visiting my friend Robby. I didn’t really think much about it and proceeded to watch the show. I spent the night with my friend Robby, and got up the next morning and went back to Red River. Strangely enough, I was thinking about this lady Brenda , and when I returned to Dallas I called Robby and asked him if he knew anything about Brenda. He proceeded to give me her information. She was single and I asked him if there was anyway that he could get her phone number for me. I texted her and asked if she would consider having coffee the next time I was in Santa Fe. We corresponded back-and-forth through texts quite a bit and we did eventually have that cup of coffee in Santa Fe. It was not too long after that that I asked her if she would be willing to spend the weekend with me in Red River New Mexico, and she agreed and it was kind of history after that. We moved around quite a bit, moved from Albuquerque to Santa Fe and then from Santa Fe to Denver and then back to Santa Fe and then finally we made our way here to Arizona. We both love Arizona. We tried going back to Denver but it wasn’t home anymore. We were happy and had a home, career, and two beautiful dogs (our girls Aspen & Alexis.) I watched Brenda’s life crash in 2010 when she got diagnosed with ALS. She was a nurse working for Kaiser Permanente and it broke her heart when she had to quit because she could no longer work on the floor as it was too hard for her. So she retired early. Her ALS was slowly progressing and in 2017 she relied on using a walker and eventually she was unable to walk at all - and was sentenced to a chair. To make her life even worse she was diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia. That’s the one that’s the hardest to deal with. We knew want to expect with the ALS, but the with dementia, it was a devastating disease that would rob her mind from her. She asked me to never put her in a nursing home because she is not a disposable person. I promised her with every fiber in my being that I would always take care of her and never leave her side.

Brenda, I will be with you from here to eternity to infinity and beyond because you are the one love and my soulmate forever.

Brenda took her last worldly breath on April 29, 2024 with me and her immediate family by her side.

I have many stories of Brenda with her kind and gentle spirit. She truly made me a better person. Today at 4:20 PM Brenda took her last breath and got her angel wings. She’s no longer in pain , no longer struggles with her dementia or the ALS.
— Linda Pettis, 29 Apr 2024

Brenda loved our girls Aspen and Alexis. She took such good care of them. She was also an avid hiker and loved to be in the outdoors. She also like riding her bike and just feeling free.
— Linda Pettis, 18 May 2024

I had kept in touch with her and her wife Linda Pettis for all these years. I first met Brenda when she was one of our female tenors in NMGMC in 1998. Later, she joined the Wilde Bunch, danced for a few years (I think with Linda), and eventually moved on to Santa Fe, and then (I think) Denver. They settled in Scottsdale, and I visited them a couple of times. Both of them were nurses, but Brenda had to give that up when when she was diagnosed with ALS. It was terribly sad, and a very slow progression over the years. We saw them again in February 2021, when they were on one of their trips to Huntington Beach, a favorite place for Brenda.
— Bill Eyler